Boston, MA 5:29 pm
Everyone views things differently, they have their own perspectives on life, and it’s almost like they either live in the world with colors or they’re the ones that live in the world without.
Living in the world with colors: When it feels like you live in the world with colors, you accept life. You believe that there are possibilities for yourself, and it’s good. You’re full of joy, and you believe there’s a purpose for yourself.
Living in the world without colors: When it feels like you live in the world without colors, It is all shades of just black, and grey. You think to yourself that there’s a lack of possibilities for yourself, and future. You may question yourself what’s the point of all of this? You may feel lonely, lost, depressed etc. And you try to find purpose.
I wonder to myself,
How can someone I love, see the world so differently?
How can someone I love, not enjoy life as much as I can?
How can someone I love, live in this world without color?
It honestly hurts.
I mean, he is part of my life, part of my childhood.
He’s family.
I went through a lot with him, and because of him throughout our childhood. When I was younger I’d question myself “how is he like this?” “Why isn’t he like the the rest of us?” It’s like he’s living in the world without colors. Obviously didn’t like it at the time, but it was something I always had to deal with, both my mom and I had to. I did feel like the only child when I wasn’t supposed to. I was too young to understand him, but now I do. I’ve learned to accept him, and what he has.
Before he moved in with dad, something was always going on. Something would always go on every time I came home from school. There was at-least no week without peace, no week without crying.
As he has grown older, he’s willing to improve himself. He knew he was going to be legal, so he had to get his shit together. He changed but didn’t change. Still the same soul in the same body, but he’s still willing to try to become better.
Not too long ago, recently we started to bond, built up our relationship better than before, stronger than our childhood of course.
We’re growing up, accepting each other. Accepting to be there for each other.
People grow up, and people change. Yes, they may change, but they’re still the same person.
But there’s no way he changed completely. When there’s times when something wasn’t right, it felt endless. There’s always going to be something going on, and it hurts me that he has to go through life thinking that it’s pointless.
How am I able to enjoy life, when he can’t..?
I do believe witnessing everything, dealing with him, and accepting it. He made an affect on me. He helped shaped my personality. Nor a good way or bad way, but seeing the world with color, and without.
He’s smart, kindhearted, never the type to backstab anyone. He’s the most genuine anyone could ever meet.
But in the world that we live, there are some things people just cannot control.
I wonder to myself,
How can someone I love, see the world so differently?
How can someone I love, not enjoy life as much as I can?
How can someone I love, live in this world without colors?
PeaceAYE 